To the women who never gave birth
Mothers Day is always an emotional day for me. Once upon a time I believed I would never have children. The pain of trying to have a baby, and every month finding out I wasn’t, took its toll. Years went by with me praying everyday for a pregnancy that would never happen.
8 years ago my husband and I decided to stop “trying” to have a child. Both of us were immensely tired of the tests and medication. We were tired of tracking, taking temperatures, and planing every intimate move. It was taking a toll on our marriage. We decided then, that we would pursue adoption and leave the rest up to God.
8 years of not “trying” but not doing anything to stop pregnancy, we still have not had even one glimpse of being pregnant. I wont lie, somedays that’s still hard.
7 years ago we adopted three kids and then another. Now five kids later my family feels complete. I love all of my kids. I love my family. I cant explain it though, every so often I’m sad I never got to experience pregnancy.
I have a few friends that are pregnant right now. They ask advice and questions from the women around me. I can answer questions on parenting, and a lot of things that come up in children’s lives after two days old, but I have nothing but second hand knowledge when it comes to being pregnant.
Two days, yup that’s how old my youngest was when we got him. Oh what a terrific and nervous day that was. I’ve been through newborn to now my oldest is 17 years old, but I still have people saying “Some day you’ll have your own child.”
Well, at this point, I have “my own” they just didn’t’ grow in my belly. At this point I’m going to turn 40 and getting pregnant is not a safe or practical plan.
I have grieved for the child who will never grow in my belly. Now I’m just grateful for the plan God has for me. I never imagined that I would have five kids. I never imagined how busy my life would be. It is far greater than anything I could have dreamed up.
To the women out there that may be like me: Know that you are not alone. Know that God still loves you and has a plan for you. And if you have adopted, just know that you are a real Mom, if you’ve fostered, yes you are a real Mom.
You are loved.
“He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!” Psalm 113:9 ESV