This week was a real test of wills. It was snow day after snow day which for special needs kids it’s a break from routine. A break from routine means screams, breakdowns, whining, always asking for food, and always being bored.
Such a full week of memories and stress.
Well, last night my husband and I went out because I was ready to pull every single last hair out, and we went through the car wash. Yes, you read that right, we needed a car wash.
As we were going through the car wash, my husband realized one of his windows was partly down. Oh, that sucks. Have you ever done that?
I have. In fact, we were reminiscing about the time I left a window open…. If any of you feel like you have had a motherhood fail this should make you feel better.
So, I had just finished up at the doctor’s office with my daughter Kathy. Kathy has Autism, pica, apraxia, among a couple of other diagnoses. Just to sum it up she has a lot of struggles. She cant talk or really communicate outside of screaming and crying.
So we were driving along and back then (she was about 3) she really liked car rides. Having a kid that cant talk to me in the car meant I could jam to some tunes with my windows down and just relax before I go back to the chaos of my house. Kathy seemed to be enjoying herself. She was flapping her arms which is her way of showing how happy she is.
We were about to pass a car wash, and I think, You know I needed a car wash, I just get a quick wash. SO I drive into the car wash, and I’m still listening to my music. About halfway, yes halfway through the wash, I look back in the review mirror to see how Kathy’s doing.
You can see where this is going right?
Yeah, I look back, and I find my little toddler, flapping her arms looking super happy and soaking wet. She was wet. Like REALLY WET. That side of the car was soaked. I quickly rolled up the window, and by quickly I mean ten minutes too late. She was drenched.
I officially sucked at that moment. I had gone through the car wash, rolled up my own window, (thought I rolled them all up but didn’t). I had been just zoning out in my own world, while in the back seat my non-verbal autistic daughter WHO CAN’T ADVOCATE FOR HERSELF was sitting in soap and water.
MOM OF THE CENTURY right here ladies and gent.
Yeah. I felt like a winner.
After that, I went home and cleaned her and the car all up.
Fast forward, my daughter doesn’t seem to hold a grudge. I have forgiven myself in that time.
I think that’s one of the most important lessons us Mama’s can have; to learn how to forgive your self. Jesus is a friend of sinners. Jesus didn’t condemn, rather He let people acknowledge their sin and then told them to sin no more.
One of my most hopeful bible verses as a kid was in John 8:7 When they bring in a woman who had committed adultery and ask Jesus what to do with her, and He says, “Let any of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”
You know what happened after that? One by one they all left except for Jesus. Jesus then told her to “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
Now have I been a perfect Mom since then? Ya..no. But I try to be better every day. That’s what I think is asked of all of us. Not to be brought down by social judgment but to take one step closer to Him every day. Some days it’s a baby step, and some days it’s a leap. Just keep moving forward.
Everyone messes up. Everyone.
Two things I learned from that day
- You need to forgive yourself in order to move forward
- Always triple check all the windows before entering a car wash!